I want snow. Cool weather, and snow and no more sun and heat. Then everybody wears a mop of snowy hair, and looks somewhat like a cat that ran out of a shower that has been forced on it. People look funny, cute, fresh, happy, and miserable all at the same time – just like that cat. And if they are complaining about how much they hate the snow, while holding on to their ears, swearing at the weather, the middle of nowhere called Nebraska – and themselves for having shown the stupidity of not bringing a hat – that makes them look even more cute and Christmasy, even if they are trying to look all fierce and world-hating. And then you pick up some snow, make a firm crunchy ball and throw it at one of your friends who has that cat-look – and you both end up in a snow fight, too busy to swear at the weather anymore. And then blankets and hot chocolate – a huge mug of this goodness held tight by your red happy warming-up fingers. And then you sit on the furnace, because it becomes your sole source of happiness after which you go to Walmart because you want to get yourself a hat, because you realize you misplaced the one you thought you had, and you get the cheapest hat, and it sits all funny on your head, slides sideways and exposes your ears to the very-much-hated-yet-loved Christmas weather. You curse the weather, take off the hat and continue walking with your ears falling off from cold – and smile because it is still a better feeling then a hat falling off. Then you go inside and put on your hat – because everybody is wearing hats, and it just feels cosy – only for a few minutes though until your hat starts sliding off and then you take it off and throw it against the wall, grieving about the fact that it won't hurt it any – because by now you are starting to hate your hat more than the weather. And then you look out of the window – it went dark, the street lights are on, and huge snowflakes are slowly floating obeying the force of gravity – and at this exact moment you realize that you can give the world for a mop of snowy hair. You run outside. You look into the sky and you can't move – homework, people, sleep – nothing matters anymore. You are mesmerized by the blanket the sky is covering the earth with. The snowflakes appear out of nowhere, the size of sand – and then they grow bigger and bigger – until they fall on your nose and cheeks, making those hurt and creating a smile on your face without you realizing it. You are starting to get cold – but it really does not matter. You walk a few more steps on the fresh-fallen shiny and crunchy snow trying to absorb what's around you – and comprehend what is happening to you. Suddenly you start running around and laughing – bathing in that fresh sea of snow. You feel happy – not for any particular reason – you just feel good and you don't need anything else in your life. Then you look at the clock – you have a night shift to work – and it's time for you to go get ready for it. You leave the heaven – a little bit sad that it's over – but understanding that if it went longer, it would have gotten old. You feel ready to leave the miracle and face the life – and you are confident that you are strong enough to deal with it. You think about your night shift – and smile.
I wanna write something, but I really have no inspiration to do so, which is weird. I wanted to write about coffee – since I got to make coffee at work this morning. I wanted to write about tumbleweeds – since there is a tumbleweed smiley on skype for some reason. But I don't know.
It's a nice morning though. A different kind of work brought some variety to my routine, which I am very happy about. Even though the work I am doing today is much less eventful than usual – it is interesting to do something different and to have different duties.
Also, it is the first out of my four last days of work. I can't wait for my vacation – and the summer went by too quick. After this week there will be only two weeks left till school. Only two weeks. It's insane. It feels like the summer has just started, really. I am kinda looking forward to going back to school though.
I need to write up my vacation list though – stuff that I need to do on vacation. And I need to get books for school.
It's nice to sit and relax after work. You can drink pop, listen to music sitting outside your house and not be nice to your laptop battery. Also, you get to be bothered by random feelings of guilt for the mess in your house that you are not cleaning up. And for the indoor plants, some of which are not feeling well. But I guess that's life. I also feel that this post is totally worthless. But I'll post it anyways.
Sometimes you get a few minutes in your life that you have never expected you will. Not a few minutes stolen from death – a few minutes of vacation from your routine, at a totally random time – and somehow those few minutes feel like you haven't really lived until you encounter them. You don't have anything planned, so you can do anything. You can be spontaneous and have fun. Or you can cry. Or run around and scream. Or do all of those things at once. You haven't planned what you are gonna feel like. It's a time off the chart – like when you take cash off of your account, and then forget about it, and then at some random account you find it and can spend it in a much freer way than money off of your debit card.
You come outside, earlier than you have ever been outside before. You see pearl-colored clouds and for once experience cool air. It's refreshing. The neighbor's AC makes a quiet sound. Somewhere there is a noise of maintenance equipment – which for some reason makes you feel safe because you know somewhere there are people taking care of the moment you are experiencing. You decide you need to take a picture – but then realize that you can't – because what you are experiencing is not just a visual sensation of morning colors. You start understanding that what makes the moment so precious is the sensation of the things you have more so experienced before – in a new setting – in a setting free of stress, worries, plans, decisions, and any crap that normally spoil your life.
So you feel happy and smile, surprised by the moment – and then grab your laptop to write about it. You are not sure that you will succeed – but you don't really care – you are not only describing it, you feel like you can't hold words inside. And accidentally, without noticing, you end up drawing a picture – the picture you wanted to take but couldn't, because it would make so little sense.
You sit on the porch and try to remember every single sensation before life starts. The sun is rising, coloring the leaves and the top of the roof orange, it is getting more noisy. You cannot say what fills the air with noise, but something makes you feel that the day is closer now. It is getting warmer, too, and feels more like your normal morning.
Boom! The alarm goes off and you realize that you've been taken back to life that is about to start. You are excited about the day, yet will never forget those sacred few minutes that life granted you as a gift – but you are ready for your life again – and inspired, more than ever.
And you go shut off your alarm – with a wide smile on your face – and a feeling more alive than you have in a long time.
While standing up from the porch you were sitting on, you notice your cup of water you have brought with you – and your cell phone. You forgot about both. You realize they get you back to life even more – and you stretch – looking forward to whatever the day will bring.
I'm a little writing raccoon. That's right. I'm a raccoon who can write. I write a lot. About anything I see. Like, there's a cup of cold, coffee next to me. The freshness of it is very questionable. It might start growing mold any second. But it's still drinkable. So I'll drink it. There are clouds in the sky. And they should cover the sun so that there would not be 105 F outside. Temperatures like this can set my fur on fire, and ill be running around bald until I grow more fur. Though it might be the nature's way to help me get rid of my fur coat so that I could cool off faster. Or maybe nature does not do that. Maybe the coffee is growing a special kind of mold, which gives me hallucinations. Mold is related to mushrooms. Mushrooms can give you hallucinations. So can mold. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just falling asleep because the mold grows and eats out all the caffeine. Evil mold. Nobody and nothing can steal my caffeine from me! Yes, that's right! I'm an evil raccoon, I don't like when my caffeine gets stolen. I have a scratch on my paw. I don't know where it came from. Or maybe it's just a hallucination. You remember the whole coffee deal, right? Well, if not, I won't explain for the second time. You can go back to the beginning and reread the stuff. I like writing, but I get bored when I have to explain something a lot of times – especially about coffee – because if I do that, it might inspire you to steal my caffeine – and that would be bad… for you, because I'll get mad. See how much the little writing raccoon cares about you, dear readers? No, I don't really care about you. I don't want my caffeine being stolen. Period. Telling you that I care about you basically implies that you don't want to steal my coffee because consequences will follow – that is, I care only about me and my coffee – and threaten you so that you would not steal my caffeine from me, whether you are a bison, or random indecisive mold which does not know whether it should grow or not. And the consequences are really scary, so you don't want to know them. They will follow for sure – that is, if you are the one trying to steal my coffee from me. If you are the one bringing me coffee, you'll get a fuzzy hug. Well, if you are the one stealing coffee, you will get a fuzzy hug too, and a thanks from me for trying to rid me of my caffeine addiction. Scary, huh? You don't want to hear me say thanks. It is scary as heck. I smile, stare at you and say thanks. And fuzzy hugs are even more scary! Why? No, I don't have fleas. But how can it be fun to hug a fuzzy animal and not start itching at once? Fleas are cute! But if you want some, you'll have to go talk to my coffee – it might know better. I don't have them. That is, my fur probably does. I don't. Yes, my fur does have them. Listen! They are talking! Oh no… they are talking about stealing my coffee from me. Well, that's no fun. My coffee will be gone, and my fleas will be gone because they will not need me anymore. They have as much of a caffeine addiction as I do. Wait. What is the difference between fleas and coffee? And how did I start talking about coffee and now I'm talking about my imaginary friends – fleas? I have a lot of friends – you won't be able to see them, but they are there. Just look around – they make so much happy noise! They bring fleas and put them in my coffee. Have I told you I am old? I think I was born yesterday actually – but I am older than those who were born today. Much older. A day consists of twenty-four years, right? So if I was born at the beginning of yesterday, I will be forty eight years older than somebody who will be born at the end of today. I think a plant started growing out of my coffee. Oh no! My cow is eating it. It looks like a flea though. Did coffee shrink me and I see mold starting to grow and think it is the size of me? Or is it a flower pot sitting next to me? Dirt indeed looks like coffee. Hmmm. How do you distinguish between coffee and dirt? I actually don't think there is any difference. Fleas will steal and eat either.
Fist of all, the title was changed from a totally random "Colors and transparency" to the title this post has now.
Second, I am having my lunch break. That means, I get to eat food – which is very important when you work outside – and very complicated when you don't have clean dishes.
Third, lunch breaks go by too fast, and that's the reason they suck – even though they are still awesome.
Fourth, this lunch break has been fun – I discovered a new song, and watched a few minutes of a glee episode.
Fifth, today is Friday. Yay!
Sixth, it's Friday 13th. Emmm…. Also yay!
Seventh, I still have 10 minutes of the break to spare.
Have a good Friday everybody!
I am looking at a star in the blue blue sky. The star is little to the point of being elusive and it takes time to find it again if I take my eyes off of it. As I was looking at the star, something ran into the roof of my house – probably a little bat – or a big moth. As I am looking away, I see a pine sparkle under the street lights – a sprinkler nearby created raindrops on pine needles. They now shine like silver sparkles on a robe.
The music coming from the laptop is making the evening more amazing – yet making me tired. The crickets seem to be combining with the music and creating a special, almost sacred, evening tune.
The star got brighter – even though it still takes time to find it again. It is in a very weird location in relation to me, so I have to twist my head around to see it.
A gust of cool wind. A sip of warm water. You get a nice feeling of drinking hot chocolate in winter.
I am thinking I haven't relaxed like that in a long time.
The crickets stopped. They really did, and it is weird. The wind is getting stronger and I am thinking of getting myself a chair, because I don't really like sitting on the hard surface of the earth.
My laptop is gonna die soon, and it's sad.
I just saw something that looked like international space station. But it wasn't. It was too big and produced noise. It was an airplane. I normally hate airplanes, But I did not hate this one.
I'm listening to the kind of music I don't normally listen to. R'n'B sort of thing. But I really like it right now. Goes well with a slow laid back evening.
The sky got darker and the star got even brighter. Some more stars appeared. The diamonds on the pine tree became brighter. Silhouettes of the trees on the west are now completely black, and on the background of dark-blue sky, almost invisible.
Another gust of wind. Time for me to get back to my movie – and get some more hot water – and get off of here and do something else.
Time goes by really fast. Faster than I realize. Today I was talking to my employers about when my last day of my summer job will be. One of them mentioned that time goes by fast, and I did not pay attention to that. However, now it got to me pretty bad. A bigger part of summer is gone, then a little bit of work, my two week vacation (that I am looking forward to), and school starts again.
Sometimes I wish that my life was as easy as – well, nobody has an easy life I guess. No, I don't want my life easy. Easy life is boring. But I want to be able to solve things. I am ok with it being hard to solve things, but I wish it was at least possible. Sometimes you have a cloud that you can't really push away, and it just keeps sitting above you and raining H2SO4 on you. And whatever good of an umbrella you pick up, you gotta face the cloud someday. The umbrellas will be burnt one by one, and you will run out. And then you are standing under that rain and thinking what to do next. And you can't do anything really. You are just like everybody else, unprotected under this cloud raining life. And you cannot do a freaking thing.