Fall is here!

It's a very cold cloudy morning. I woke up an hour earlier than I should have. Just for the heck of it. No. The intention was to do homework – but, you know, who cares about homework. So I am making myself some tea and listening to music.
Hot shower, fall clothes, tea, and a blanket. I think I've been looking forward to that kind of morning since the start of the school year. And now it's there. And it's not just amazing, it's twice as amazing as I expected it to be because I'm sitting here and relaxing at the time when I would usually hurry to get ready and run around the house. It's a good thing I got myself to get out of bed early. And now I am sitting and looking at the clock and treasuring every minute of this slow and beautiful morning.
Yes, so it's fall. And since it's fall, there's that: http://www.pickyourown.org/pumpkinpie.php. I wanna make one of those these days. Maybe not as amazing as those instructions say. And maybe not from a real pumpkin. But it will still smell like a real pumpkin pie – or close enough.
Random thought. As I am sitting here doing nothing, I am realizing that I will come to class and I won't be dead tired or feeling like I just got dragged out of bed and about to go back to my pillow. Or maybe I will, even more so, because I got one hour less sleep than I could have. We'll see. Right now it's just a slow and amazing morning and I should probably go outside to see how cold it is in order to decide what kind of jacket I want to wear – and then get ready and head to class.
Hope you people have a good morning!


The Weird Morning

There are different kinds of morning. The one when you wake up at 7am +- and wondering how come you are not dead yet because you are feeling as close to that as an alive human being can – the normal morning. The one when you wake up late at night and it's already dark – then you regret losing your day – the upside down morning. And the one when you wake up between evening and afternoon – then you feel like you don't know where you are at – it feels like you woke up too late and too early at the same time – the weird morning. You feel like you got too much sleep. You feel like you did not get enough sleep. You feel guilty in front of yourself for sleeping in and for sleeping not enough. You don't know where that much light comes from, yet wondering why it is not sunrise.
So you just stare at your computer hoping your day to start make any sense. And sure it does not. It never does. Eventually you come to the point where you just don't care and get off of your butt to get ready for a social obligation you gotta show up at – forcing yourself to eat, to make your hair look not like morning hair – and being thankful for the social obligation to make you move around.
Good mornaftevenoon everybody!

Unfinished thoughts

Empty dorms, empty streets. It's the last hour of my night shift. I am crocheting a doiley and thinking about life, the way it is and the way it was. The dark night makes you think about those things – and so do unfinished for years crocheting projects. I need to finish my doiley. It's not that hard. And the sunrise needs to come quicker. Dawn hours are the saddest ones – make your brain think of all those confusing crocheting dilemmas and life patterns – or vice versa. However, when the sun comes up, your brain suddenly dies and stops being sad – as well as poetic. The last part is something I am sad about. Night is beautiful, and so is the dawn, but sunrise kills your eyes and your brain. Or maybe it is a syndrome of a night shift worker, because sunrise is when those people go to bed.
Coffee. Hot coffee. Coffee normally makes everything better – even the sadness of the dawn. If you have hot coffee – that would fix pretty much anything in this world – you just gotta pick the right vessel to keep it hot for 8 hours – then your life would be perfect. Maybe. Or at least perfect for thinking about life without thinking about how to keep yourself warm.
Sunrise now. And it feels like it's too bright, but coffee does a good job at keeping me warm. Sunrise makes me fee like it's winter. Maybe just because it is a much later sunrise than it was a month ago – and the cloulds look kinda pink like they do on frosty winter days.

Fall, leaves, and hot cocoa

I want fall. You know, that time when you get to hate and love mornings because they are so cold. When it is fascinating outside because you get to run in the rain and walk on crunchy leaves and look forward to getting back to your house and drinking hot chocolate. When the sun is so beautiful, yet sad-looking. When you get to wear your hat and sweatshirt, and come to class with a big mug of very hot coffee that sitll does not feel hot enough. When you get to sit on your couch wrapped up in a blanket and watch the rain while the sky is getting dark and the orange street lights replace the sun. When it's so miserable outside you hate it – yet you think it's the most amazing weather ever. When you constantly feel happy-sad just because of bittersweet weather, yet never want it to be over. And even though it's still warm outside, you still start feeling this last part and smiling because it's the best feeling ever – and because it will get even better soon.