textbook quotes

So I am reading my botany texbook and finding lots of odd funny unrelated things – they make sense, but they are completely ridicuouls. So there we go, quotes for you guys to smile at.
"If you stick a pin into a pillow, you cretainly don't expect any reaction from the pillow, but if you stick the same pin into a friend, you know your friend will react immediately."
"Guppies never have puppies – just more guppies."