Facing my life

In the last 24 hours I somehow faced my past, my present, and my future. And somehow I handled looking at it all without getting frustrated, depressed, sad, guilty, or whatever other feelings thinking about those might bring. Today, every second that I had to deal with something, like a memory, an idea, or the way my life is, or my options after graduation – whatever it was, I looked at it and I allowed myself to openly think about it and feel it. Some of the stuff I was looking at was scary, and some of it was painful. Some of it made me feel good about myself. Some of it was hopeful, and some – inevitable. A lot were facts that were just there – they did not deserve my stress, or my time – and they used to get a lot of both. I was surprised how I managed to face that all like that. It felt weird, but it was interesting and made me see new things in myself and in people around, as well as in my past, present, and future. I am starting to feel hopeful that I will get out of the hole called my past, and maybe, just maybe, will learn to enjoy my life for what it is.

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