Moving on….

The deep black hole is still too close and can get me again, and it probably will. But I feel that I got out and moved past it – in an instance. And now I am looking back, and I cannot believe that I was in that hole, and never noticed that I was, in fact, in a hole, because now, as I look back, I see how deep, scary and black that hole is. When I was in this hole, I was surrounded by darkness, so I did not really see how dark and horrible the hole was, and if I saw that at times, I could not get out. Now I can see it clearly, and I can see how hard it is to not fall there again, because I've been there too long, because it feels too comfy there, and nothing else really feels like home except for the black hole – but not because the hole is awesome, but because I haven't really seen anything else. I feel like I finally have fresh air to breathe even though I never had any idea how I needed it, nor do I have any idea what to do with it now. Getting some fresh air is a good feeling though. I only hope that I don't fall in that hole again – or if I do, that I can get out faster.

P.S. No, I did not just get out of the hole – I dug myself out from under the ground, where I feel like I have been all my life. And now, if I fall there again, I will still see the light and know how to get out.


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